dont forget the part where you pretend you’re having a really sad moment in the rain
And the period shower where you stand and watch the blood flowing down the drain as if you just got back from a war or brawl.
As a girl I can confirm that all of this happens.
Yes it does.
It really does
the penis people’s showers are so boring compared to this
THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD IS SEEING PEOPLE SMILING BECAUSE OF YOU
GERARD WHAT THE FU CK
I love the feeling of not having control over your body in a pit. If the crowd wants to jump, you fucking jump.
humans are confusing so play it safe and only hang out with plants and small animals
"is there an international men’s day?" yes actually! it’s tomorrow! and the next day! and the day after! and every other day of every year
attempting to hide your desperate need for breath after a short flight of stairs
I turned on the dishwasher and she just sat there and stared at it for 20 minutes
Hairdresser: do you like it?
Me: yes thank you
*goes home and cries*
IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER
YOU GOTTA GET away from my friends because they’re more attractive looking and cooler than me and you might choose them instead which i completely understand because im ugly
you know what constantly blew my mind as a child
in movies when a character is looking straight into their reflection in a mirror
how does the camera not show up in the mirror
actually never mind about the whole “as a child” business i still haven’t figured this shit out
when you tell a joke in front of a huge group of people and they all laugh